I’ve Forgotten my Password 🤬

I wanted to let my readers know that I’ll be making a new WordPress account soon.

Due to unforeseen circumstances, I can’t gain access to my account via the internet. It’s been like this for a while now, if I’m being honest.

I’ve been creating content via the app on my phone, but I’ve grown tired of always using my phone. Sometimes I’d like to do it via my laptop.

Usually I could just reset my password with the help of the email that’s associated with the account but I’ve lost access to that account too.

And there is nothing I can do with that email account either because it’s locked with a phone number I don’t use anymore.

Despite seeking help from their helpline, there is nothing they can do to help me apparently. So you guys can understand my frustration.

This account will always be available to read but I won’t be posting anything else till my subscription on this account ends and I make a new one.

Thank you, for all the times you’ve read my thoughts and as the time to leave this account and open a new one draws nearer, more information will be shared.

Talk to you guys soon.

While you’re at it follow me on my socials

IG: dez1bade

Twitter: dez1bade

✌🏿

Are People Afraid to Fall in Love?

I’m typing this out while listening to some R’N’B/Soul. So, I think it’s safe to say that I’m “in my feelings“.

Honestly I’m asking myself this question as much as I am asking you guys. “Why are you afraid to fall in love

Understandably, looking at how things are and how people behave most of the time. I can relate to why most will not want to fall in love.

No one likes to feel vulnerable or helpless. And I guess love makes you feel EXACTLY like that. You’re figuratively giving your heart to another person, trusting them not to play games and strum the strings like a guitar. Also no one wants to be that person that got “played” by the opposite sex. I understand, 100%. If you deep it, love is not only exciting but it’s daunting too. But all good things are on the other side of fear. Remember that.

Personally, I’ve always had a 90’s R’N’B kind of heart. I put my soul into it, if I fall in love, it’s a both a good & bad thing. But because of this, does it mean I’m afraid to fall in love? It doesn’t feel like fear; it feels more like hesitation, or caution if you will.

Why do YOU think you’re not too keen to fall in love?

A few factors come into play here:

  • Past Experiences
  • Social Influence
  • Unwillingness to “Submit” / Feel Vulnerable
  • Not being loved back

Now, if anyone of these factors apply to you then that’s normal. Because more than one applies to me.

I’ve asked myself 3 questions and I think you should also, if you feel like you’re “stuck” concerning this particular subject.

  1. Envision your life, 5-15 years from now. Would you like to be alone? Or with a companion?
  2. Do you want kids? Because the last time I checked you need a partner for that.
  3. Think back to the last time you felt like you were in love. That shit felt good right? So what’s the issue?

Damn. These tunes I’m listening to really have me by the throat lmao…

Anyway, we aren’t getting any younger, better believe that. And contrary to common belief, love isn’t easy to come by, especially one that goes both ways. So if there’s a chance, put the pride aside & go for it. Allow the heart to lead the way.

Furthermore, people that encourage “building a wall” are unhealthy, both physically & emotionally. It has been proven that we need and crave affection, whomsoever we are. YUP, I’m taking about the guys that walk around thinking they are Tony Montana, “hard as nails“.

Listen, Tony had Elvira. And we all know how he ended up once she left his side. You can’t be “hard” all the time. It’s ideal to have someone to go home to and be sarrrftttt with, ya unnastand?

You can’t even mention family in this case, because there are things you can do with a partner that you can’t do with your family… unless you’re a Lannister. But listen, to each their own.

Don’t be silly by blocking your blessings ladies & gentlemen. I know I definitely won’t.

If you’re hell-bent on chasing numerous & eventual dead-end flings at a time. Good luck to you.

If you’re comfortable with forever being alone, that’s cool. You might as well purchase that first cat now.

If you’re adamant that you don’t want to put yourself in a vulnerable position again then you’re a wuss.

I’m hoping this message has triggered something in you. But if it hasn’t, then I apologise for wasting your time. However, it’s changed my perspective on the matter. So I guess some good came out of it regardless.

Before I go, I’ll leave you with some of the songs I had in my ear whilst typing out this piece of work, enjoy.

One Way – ft T-Pain

East Atlanta Love Letter

Overrated

Relax With Me

Happy Sunday.

Substance Abuse

Regardless of who you are, be that a billionaire or an individual, working their 9-5 every week. We all have insecurities, no one can escape it. Insecurity is the root cause of substance/drug abuse and this is why I believe so.

Have a think about why people take drugs. It’s a form of escape, is it not? It gives you the pleasure of forgetting life’s problems even if it’s for a short period of time. Now, insecurity has always been a thing with mankind. But social media certainly hasn’t helped things as of late.

Initially meant as a platform for staying connected, promotion/marketing. Which it still is, don’t get me wrong. However, it doesn’t deter from the fact that it is a factor behind the cause of insecure thoughts

Social media isn’t the only thing at fault here. A number of things could be the cause. But these insecure thoughts have ignited a hunger for approval that we always look to feed.

The mindset of many today is “how much clout will this get me?” The outcome is seeing the most idiotic (sometimes funny) things on social media and just wondering “why”.

To make decisions based on whether or not it will get approval or accumulate “clout points” is 100% insecure. This eats away at you. Human beings long for attention, we like to be noticed and are afraid of being forgotten. Whether you want to admit to that, is up to you. But it’s a fact.

Substance abuse comes into play here when people have said insecurities but don’t necessarily have the means to go about dealing with them effectively.

And with insecurities eating away at you every minute of every day as well not having the right means to deal with them. The natural instinct is to find something that will “numb the pain”

“I hate being sober, I wanted a drug to do” – Mac Miller (Coke Boys TV) Episode 5 #RIP

A common reason behind people having addictions is the fact that they don’t enjoying being sober. Personally, this just says that they don’t like having to be reminded of their insecurities and/or troubles in life. So they turn to something that will take that away or better put, to mask it.

I understand that for some, to stop substance abuse is much easier said than done. And it has become so much of a habit that the withdrawal symptoms could be immense. However, that’s why rehab exists ladies and gentlemen. One step at a time.

People say that I’m always in a good mood or I’m always cheerful. But the truth is, that’s not the case. Every now and again I am reminded of my flaws or insecurities. However I never let that dictate my mood for too long. I think about all the things that I am grateful for & all the things that I could lose and it shows me just how much I actually have. And this people, is a good starting point if you want to fight and learn to come to terms with your insecurities.

Ask yourself this:

If humans were genuinely happy with what they had or the life they lived. Would substance abuse be a problem?

Or would they not even have the time to think about such trivial things, because they was too busy actually living their life?

Are Millennials Too Nostalgic?

Nostalgia,

Looking back on events, people or actions that are sentimental to you or that have shaped your childhood. Apparently, millennials are the most nostalgic generation ever. Constantly looking back, some would say even living in the past. I must admit, even if this is true, you can’t blame us.

Each generation will say they had the best childhood, so excuse my biased opinion when I say… my generation had the best childhood. Millennials were lucky enough to grow up during the “transitional” stage, from analog to digital. We got to appreciate the things that have become a norm today. Children of present don’t have anything to compare with the technological & cultural changes they see today. This will sound cliche, but “when times were simpler

Who remembers;

When cable TV only gave you the choice of 5 channels? Now we have Freeview.

When you had to do the mannequin challenge to ensure that song successfully sent via infrared? Now we can stream millions of songs effortlessly.

When dial up internet was a reality & WiFi was a concept? Now we’re free of the boops & beeps.

When hanging up the phone with vim was always an option due to flip/slide phones? Now everything has a touchscreen.

When you could leave your house with £3 in your pocket & have the time of your life? Even a meal deal is £5 now smh.

When Teletext was the only “TV guide” you knew about? R.I.P. Teletext.

I can already see how old these questions make me look. L o l

Think about how things were when you were a child. Now look at things today, so much has changed. Not necessarily for the worse, recent technology has been revolutionary in everyday lives. But there will always be things that you will miss being able to experience and/or do.

For example, I mentioned earlier about having 5 channels on TV to choose from. Yes, that sounds extremely boring for the younger audience & I will forever be grateful for Netflix & satellite TV. But even with only 5 channels, we made it work. Plus life before reality tv was bliss.

Still on the matter of TV, Cartoon Network, Nickelodeon, Boomerang, Disney & Trouble were extremely influential channels in my childhood. It shaped my personality and how I react to certain situations. You don’t really see the same life lessons shown via these channels anymore though.

I’m not saying that things should go back to how they were but I’m just making it known that I am grateful to have grown up in that era. I genuinely feel privileged.

Furthermore, many things make me feel nostalgic. But nothing has a bigger impact than music does. My choice in music is mainly influenced by nostalgia. I like to associate a piece of music with a memory or feeling. That’s why my playlist would seem rather random to a stranger. There’s no sense of pattern. I have a bit of everything. But each one holds somewhat of a sentimental value.

Do you guys have any pieces of music or film that holds sentimental value to you? Something that mentally transports you back in time? Makes you remember exactly how you were feeling or what you were doing the first time you heard it. Or is it just me?

It’s an open debate. Millennials would say they aren’t too nostalgic, that we are as nostalgic as the next generation. It isn’t a secret how millennials are a constant target for criticism and scrutiny. And this sounds like another session of target practice.

I still stand by my decision that millennials had the best upbringing and had the privilege to witness & enjoy such one of the most innovative periods of history.

But, I’m not here to make your decision up for you, that’s your job.

Dark Skin

This was one of the two biggest insecurities I had growing up, alongside my stammer. I’m relatively over both now. However, the journey I embarked on to get here was tough.

People don’t notice or choose not to pay as much attention to the negative effect that having dark skin can have on a man as much as they do with a woman in society. I guess because with being MEN, we should be emotionally stronger and be able to withstand much more than the opposite sex. That shouldn’t be the case.

My earliest memory with my insecurity about my dark skin, was in primary school. The kids would turn the lights off in the changing rooms during P.E. and giggle with one another because I had “supposedly” performed a magic trick & disappeared. If it wasn’t silly jokes/gestures like that, then it was

Dark skin isn’t a burden, nor is it an excuse to beat down on yourselfKyle Stanley (OdysseyOnline)

Having dark skin is apparently “popular” today. But it definitely wasn’t when I was in school. Nowadays, it’s more fetishised than accepted. If you were to come across a dark skinned person on social media, 9 times outta 10 it’s accompanied with the chocolate and tongue emoji. Or, it is being sexualised in some way shape or form.

Listen… so many people are sheep & it makes me sick. A lot of the people that shunned me for how dark I was (especially girls) or making stupid remarks & jokes, are the same ones that are screaming and putting heart eyes under the posts of individuals like Stormzy & Kofi Siriboe. Or proclaiming their love for dark skinned women.

Where was this energy when we were in school?

This is why I will never let this current “trend” get to my head, or “gass me” because who knows, it could all end tomorrow. That’s just how trends are.

Moreover, It never got to the point where I felt like I should bleach my skin. And I’ve come across many testimonies from people talking about how they felt like they were pushed to do so.

Coincidentally, this week a woman I know was interviewed by the BBC concerning this very subject & how herself and a friend felt like they had to bleach to “fit in”. No one can tell me anything: Kids can be the meanest little shits known to mankind.

It’s comforting to know I can relate with other people. And knowing that I wasn’t the only person that went through that stage during school. Because at the time, it genuinely felt like it was only happening to me.

Anyway, for myself personally everything that happened has been forgiven… but not forgotten.

Rekindled My Love of Reading.

*SIGH*

It has been a WHILE since I last posted anything on here and I apologise. More so, to myself than to anyone else. Because I swore that I wouldn’t fall off, in the sense of consistently putting out content. However, from the looks of things at the moment, that is exactly what is happening.

The first thing that people will assume is that I’m probably going through something tough in my life… NOPE. I’ve never felt more content or happy than I currently do. If I’m being honest, I’ve just been preoccupied with something else… and that something else is READING.

Not many people know, but I use to love to bury my nose in a novel when I was growing up. A mini escape from the real world. A place where my imagination could run riot. I was a book worm, 100%. Many factors took me away from this infatuation: Puberty, Girls, Peer Pressure, Insecurity etc.

I just stopped reading one day and it became extremely hard for me to pick up a book and really enjoy it after that. However, recently I feel like I’ve broken through that barrier and rekindled my love for novels and reading as a whole. It couldn’t have come at a better time too. With too much social media and constantly comparing myself with others on social media. Plus the excessive use Twitter/Instagram/Snapchat.

It got to the point where I would wake up in the morning, and the first thing I’d do is go through those social platforms. Like say I had notifications to check. I HAD NONE. I did this religiously.

Social media is an incredible creation and if used right, can make you a shitload of money. But too much of it is toxic, especially if you start to compare yourself to others.

People will say they don’t do such, but if you’re using it in excess, the way I was. Subconsciously you will. There’s no doubt about it. And that just plants seeds of self doubt, insecurity and feelings of unnecessary envy towards others online.

Reading has been that alternative I go to whenever I have the urge to jump on social media and “scroll”. Especially now it’s the summer holidays and I have a considerable about of free time on my hands. Gym has played a part too but reading is the key factor here. I learn new words everyday, my vocabulary has improved a lot. It feels good, can’t even lie to you.

Even the matter of girls, I use be so eager to interact with the opposite sex, mainly because my friends were so vocal about it. Group-chats would be popping with stories, which of course won’t be shared. But I’m sure you get the drift. In a way it’s like a kind of peer-pressure, I didn’t want to be left out. So I’d often than not, “force” conversations with a handful of girls. Jumping into DM’s I had no business being in and then wondered why the talks wouldn’t progress forward into something significant. More than half of these girls were strangers and I wasn’t planning on meeting them. Even if I said I was.

Shoutout to the guys that can juggle multiple girls at a time because I tried it and failed LOL. I’m not about that life at all man. I find it a challenge to even chase one girl, I’m too lazy and it’s something I seriously sit down and think about because does that make me a melt or… I don’t know.

I’m such an introvert it hurts, I enjoy my bedroom so much. Social settings aren’t my thing at all, unless it’s with close friends and/or family. All the parties I’ve gone to have been forced on my part. I didn’t really want to go. The mandem will probably read this and be shocked… or maybe they won’t. They’ll let me know when they see it.

But anyway, I’ve come to terms with the fact that I’m not a very social person and I’m cool with that, small talk is not my strong point and I’m not afraid of silence so that makes me socially awkward I guess. I could say it’s because of my stutter but I’ve out grown the anxiety that it use to give me. And I like to be vocal about it nowadays so it’s never on my mind as much anymore.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a creep that will stare at you at a function and not say a word. I will speak and make conversation if I’m spoken to. I’m a grown man c’mon.

I’ve just given up on forcing the whole “outgoing” persona. It’s tiring and it was taking a toll on me, foreal.

Anyway, this a little too deep. Let’s liven things up! Tion Wayne is fresh home & cooking up some summer bangers, the SUN has been cooking us in the UK for a good month & a bit and POWER is back on TV. I’m happy af at the moment.

Time to jump back on my blogging business because I’m serious about it.

God Bless.