Substance Abuse

Regardless of who you are, be that a billionaire or an individual, working their 9-5 every week. We all have insecurities, no one can escape it. Insecurity is the root cause of substance/drug abuse and this is why I believe so.

Have a think about why people take drugs. It’s a form of escape, is it not? It gives you the pleasure of forgetting life’s problems even if it’s for a short period of time. Now, insecurity has always been a thing with mankind. But social media certainly hasn’t helped things as of late.

Initially meant as a platform for staying connected, promotion/marketing. Which it still is, don’t get me wrong. However, it doesn’t deter from the fact that it is a factor behind the cause of insecure thoughts

Social media isn’t the only thing at fault here. A number of things could be the cause. But these insecure thoughts have ignited a hunger for approval that we always look to feed.

The mindset of many today is “how much clout will this get me?” The outcome is seeing the most idiotic (sometimes funny) things on social media and just wondering “why”.

To make decisions based on whether or not it will get approval or accumulate “clout points” is 100% insecure. This eats away at you. Human beings long for attention, we like to be noticed and are afraid of being forgotten. Whether you want to admit to that, is up to you. But it’s a fact.

Substance abuse comes into play here when people have said insecurities but don’t necessarily have the means to go about dealing with them effectively.

And with insecurities eating away at you every minute of every day as well not having the right means to deal with them. The natural instinct is to find something that will “numb the pain”

“I hate being sober, I wanted a drug to do” – Mac Miller (Coke Boys TV) Episode 5 #RIP

A common reason behind people having addictions is the fact that they don’t enjoying being sober. Personally, this just says that they don’t like having to be reminded of their insecurities and/or troubles in life. So they turn to something that will take that away or better put, to mask it.

I understand that for some, to stop substance abuse is much easier said than done. And it has become so much of a habit that the withdrawal symptoms could be immense. However, that’s why rehab exists ladies and gentlemen. One step at a time.

People say that I’m always in a good mood or I’m always cheerful. But the truth is, that’s not the case. Every now and again I am reminded of my flaws or insecurities. However I never let that dictate my mood for too long. I think about all the things that I am grateful for & all the things that I could lose and it shows me just how much I actually have. And this people, is a good starting point if you want to fight and learn to come to terms with your insecurities.

Ask yourself this:

If humans were genuinely happy with what they had or the life they lived. Would substance abuse be a problem?

Or would they not even have the time to think about such trivial things, because they was too busy actually living their life?

Notting Hill Carnival: 👍🏿 or 👎🏿

Every year since 1966, Notting Hill has hosted a street festival which has over the years, become the second biggest in the the world. An estimated 2 Million people attended last year, just to put things into perspective for you guys…

The event spans over 2 days. Starting on a Sunday & ending on the following bank holiday Monday. It’s always a hot topic on social media, whenever the time for carnival draws near. I guess they loves how it brings people together.

Without fail, you’ll have the annual “would you allow your significant other to go to carnival” argument on social media. Surprisingly it doesn’t get old and it’s a constant that doesn’t seem like ending anytime soon. Alongside “how to make a bowl of cereal“. But now isn’t the time for that.

Carnival is a celebration that screams positivity, but it has been tarnished in recent times by individuals that don’t know how to behave. Stabbings & alleged acid attacks have occurred at previous carnivals. With the former becoming a reoccurring problem.

I don’t want to say that a handful of individuals purposely come out to looking for trouble, but that’s what it looks like. When a festival as grand as carnival is happening, the only thing on your mind is crud (violence)?

It’s borderline retarded. However, if I’m being honest, I wouldn’t put it past some people to do such. There have always been people in life that simply enjoy ruining things for others. For reasons, in my 22 years of life I’m still yet to understand.

There have been talks of possible attempts to stop the festival from taking place before and personally I can’t blame them with all the incidents that have happened.

This subject is a difficult one, because I’m genuinely conflicted. On one hand, the carnival should be stopped because of the near certainty that violence will occur. And the job of the police is to stop/prevent exactly that. BUT, on the other hand, Notting Hill carnival has many positive qualities, that it wouldn’t be fair to strip such an experience away from those that go to have a good time.

Honestly, I’m on the fence with this one. I’m yet to come to a conclusion. Does the positive outweigh the negative?

From my point of view, it wouldn’t be a big deal if the government were to stop future carnivals from taking place. But I’m trying to look at it through the eyes of someone that’s not an introvert like myself, but is outgoing & thrives off meeting new people and creating new connections.

You can probably tell that I’m not exactly a devoted carnival-goer. I’ve been once before & that will probably be the last time. It’s definitely not my scene.

Anyway, I’m going to leave you guys with a question: Is Notting Hill Carnival a beacon of positivity or does it do more harm than good?

Dark Skin

This was one of the two biggest insecurities I had growing up, alongside my stammer. I’m relatively over both now. However, the journey I embarked on to get here was tough.

People don’t notice or choose not to pay as much attention to the negative effect that having dark skin can have on a man as much as they do with a woman in society. I guess because with being MEN, we should be emotionally stronger and be able to withstand much more than the opposite sex. That shouldn’t be the case.

My earliest memory with my insecurity about my dark skin, was in primary school. The kids would turn the lights off in the changing rooms during P.E. and giggle with one another because I had “supposedly” performed a magic trick & disappeared. If it wasn’t silly jokes/gestures like that, then it was

Dark skin isn’t a burden, nor is it an excuse to beat down on yourselfKyle Stanley (OdysseyOnline)

Having dark skin is apparently “popular” today. But it definitely wasn’t when I was in school. Nowadays, it’s more fetishised than accepted. If you were to come across a dark skinned person on social media, 9 times outta 10 it’s accompanied with the chocolate and tongue emoji. Or, it is being sexualised in some way shape or form.

Listen… so many people are sheep & it makes me sick. A lot of the people that shunned me for how dark I was (especially girls) or making stupid remarks & jokes, are the same ones that are screaming and putting heart eyes under the posts of individuals like Stormzy & Kofi Siriboe. Or proclaiming their love for dark skinned women.

Where was this energy when we were in school?

This is why I will never let this current “trend” get to my head, or “gass me” because who knows, it could all end tomorrow. That’s just how trends are.

Moreover, It never got to the point where I felt like I should bleach my skin. And I’ve come across many testimonies from people talking about how they felt like they were pushed to do so.

Coincidentally, this week a woman I know was interviewed by the BBC concerning this very subject & how herself and a friend felt like they had to bleach to “fit in”. No one can tell me anything: Kids can be the meanest little shits known to mankind.

It’s comforting to know I can relate with other people. And knowing that I wasn’t the only person that went through that stage during school. Because at the time, it genuinely felt like it was only happening to me.

Anyway, for myself personally everything that happened has been forgiven… but not forgotten.

Rekindled My Love of Reading.


It has been a WHILE since I last posted anything on here and I apologise. More so, to myself than to anyone else. Because I swore that I wouldn’t fall off, in the sense of consistently putting out content. However, from the looks of things at the moment, that is exactly what is happening.

The first thing that people will assume is that I’m probably going through something tough in my life… NOPE. I’ve never felt more content or happy than I currently do. If I’m being honest, I’ve just been preoccupied with something else… and that something else is READING.

Not many people know, but I use to love to bury my nose in a novel when I was growing up. A mini escape from the real world. A place where my imagination could run riot. I was a book worm, 100%. Many factors took me away from this infatuation: Puberty, Girls, Peer Pressure, Insecurity etc.

I just stopped reading one day and it became extremely hard for me to pick up a book and really enjoy it after that. However, recently I feel like I’ve broken through that barrier and rekindled my love for novels and reading as a whole. It couldn’t have come at a better time too. With too much social media and constantly comparing myself with others on social media. Plus the excessive use Twitter/Instagram/Snapchat.

It got to the point where I would wake up in the morning, and the first thing I’d do is go through those social platforms. Like say I had notifications to check. I HAD NONE. I did this religiously.

Social media is an incredible creation and if used right, can make you a shitload of money. But too much of it is toxic, especially if you start to compare yourself to others.

People will say they don’t do such, but if you’re using it in excess, the way I was. Subconsciously you will. There’s no doubt about it. And that just plants seeds of self doubt, insecurity and feelings of unnecessary envy towards others online.

Reading has been that alternative I go to whenever I have the urge to jump on social media and “scroll”. Especially now it’s the summer holidays and I have a considerable about of free time on my hands. Gym has played a part too but reading is the key factor here. I learn new words everyday, my vocabulary has improved a lot. It feels good, can’t even lie to you.

Even the matter of girls, I use be so eager to interact with the opposite sex, mainly because my friends were so vocal about it. Group-chats would be popping with stories, which of course won’t be shared. But I’m sure you get the drift. In a way it’s like a kind of peer-pressure, I didn’t want to be left out. So I’d often than not, “force” conversations with a handful of girls. Jumping into DM’s I had no business being in and then wondered why the talks wouldn’t progress forward into something significant. More than half of these girls were strangers and I wasn’t planning on meeting them. Even if I said I was.

Shoutout to the guys that can juggle multiple girls at a time because I tried it and failed LOL. I’m not about that life at all man. I find it a challenge to even chase one girl, I’m too lazy and it’s something I seriously sit down and think about because does that make me a melt or… I don’t know.

I’m such an introvert it hurts, I enjoy my bedroom so much. Social settings aren’t my thing at all, unless it’s with close friends and/or family. All the parties I’ve gone to have been forced on my part. I didn’t really want to go. The mandem will probably read this and be shocked… or maybe they won’t. They’ll let me know when they see it.

But anyway, I’ve come to terms with the fact that I’m not a very social person and I’m cool with that, small talk is not my strong point and I’m not afraid of silence so that makes me socially awkward I guess. I could say it’s because of my stutter but I’ve out grown the anxiety that it use to give me. And I like to be vocal about it nowadays so it’s never on my mind as much anymore.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a creep that will stare at you at a function and not say a word. I will speak and make conversation if I’m spoken to. I’m a grown man c’mon.

I’ve just given up on forcing the whole “outgoing” persona. It’s tiring and it was taking a toll on me, foreal.

Anyway, this a little too deep. Let’s liven things up! Tion Wayne is fresh home & cooking up some summer bangers, the SUN has been cooking us in the UK for a good month & a bit and POWER is back on TV. I’m happy af at the moment.

Time to jump back on my blogging business because I’m serious about it.

God Bless.